Fanfiction reviews?

[Awkwardest Witch of Her Age]

Hello there
So I recently started writing my first HP fanfic, and I'm looking for people to possibly read it and review it? I haven't been getting too many reviews and I just want to see what people think of it. It's a 2nd generation fic, reflecting upon what happens after the war and following the life of James Sirius Potter. All ships are canon!
I'd also be glad to review other people's fanfics if any one needs it! (And no, I'm not picky about ships and such)
You can find my fanfic here; www.fanfiction.net/s/8343984/1/Bittersweet

[Cornish Pixie L <3]

Okay, I'll start with chapter 1... I usually don't read a ton of 2nd gen fanfics, but I'll have a look at a bit of it and get back to you ! Good luck with it all !!

[Cornish Pixie L <3]

1. like the little poem thing at the beginning... !
2. I love how you personify the characters a lot to their genes - like Ginny having a bit of a Molly-esque motherly way, and James having Harry & James I 's hair...
3. "Albus." Harry said, trying to sound stern while hiding his smile. I don't know why, but I can totally picture that line so well, kind of random, but oh well - I like it!
4. Ginny walked to the refrigerator - do they have those in wizarding homes? Or are they living in like a muggle type house?
5. Oh my gosh Hannah left Neville? *gasp* drama!!!
6. I can totally see Ginny being the rock after the war - I like how you put that part together.
7. I like how Harry comforts Ginny, I'm definitely a sucker for their relationship... <3
8. Haha, what Ron says, and Hermione kicking him! So perfect!
9. One quick thing - the last line here, about Ginny thinking about her son... if the story is from James' POV somewhat, including a Ginny narrative might not be the best... idk just not proper writing etiquette I suppose? Maybe you could change it to James thinking about how his mother drives him bonkers, but she loves him?

All in all, it's really good. As I said I don't usually read 2nd gen, but I quite liked this and you're a really talented writer - don't give up, can't wait to see what happens next!

[Awkwardest Witch of Her Age]

Thank you for reading it, I really appreciate the review! I will definitely take your feedback into consideration! Regarding Number 4, I think they would have a fridge because Harry would've grown up with one and I like to imagine that the Weasleys would have had one too since Arthur is so obsessed with muggles
Regarding Number 9 I think you're right, thank you for pointing that out to me (:
Thank you again!

[potterdaley]

good ;D

[AlwaysPotter]

I like it - I love 2nd generations, so this was fun to read and I love how it's subtly suspenseful and really gives you a great sense of the family, and how things turned out for them post-2nd war. Anyways, just a couple sentences here and there get a little wordy/adjectivey/adverby and there are spots where you might want to add more commas, to be more grammaticaly correct and add pause and emphasis.

Mind checking out the thread I just started on the general board and giving a reply? Need some help to get the ball rolling. From one Slytherin to another, [glow=red,2,300]have a great day![/glow]

[Mrs.Tomlinson]

great job you're a talented writer

[Awkwardest Witch of Her Age]

Thank you all so much for the reviews- I will definitely add a note in Yhe next chapter thanking all of you for the help! I appreciate that you took the time to read my fanfic and I will gladly read any one else's of they wish
By the way, I'm sorry I replied so late, I've been fairly busy having started school again and such. Thanks again!

[Evanna Lovegood <3]

As a fellow Slytherin, I definitely have to tell you how good this is! Love it

[gryffinclaw]

I enjoyed reading it. I can't add much in terms of critique (than above). Looking forward to the next installment.

[Awkwardest Witch of Her Age]

Thank you both :')